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Introduction to Working with Habits.
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General fluff
When someone tells me he wants to stop smoking cigarette, I cannot help being skeptical. Because I know - as you know, too - that the moment he WANTS to quit smoking, he WILL quit. Period. It is the ONLY "stop smoking guaranteed" method out there. Same with losing weight and other habit management stuff...
And yet, half of the smokers are people who think that they want to quit. What is going on here? And if it is so simple, why selling the slim fast products is a multi-billion business?
And what is it about not being able to loose weight? Or to do exercises? Why is it so hard?
And why people want someone to "do it to them", instead of doing it themselves? Why are they asking "can I quit smoking with hypnosis?" or "can I use hypnosis for weight loss"? As if they don't believe that they can do it in "normal" awaken state...
There are few reasons people are not able to change habits they do not need, and usually you can find few of these reasons at work in the same time. For example...
For example, let's say I have to complete the work by 9.00 am tomorrow. So I am making a decision to work all the night - and yes, in the morning the work is done. But in the same time something have happened with the supply of chocolate that I had in my fridge (probably for the safety reasons, if the nuclear war starts, I would have a year's supply). The chocolate is gone. Why?
Because no mater what I decided to do during the night, my body and my mind still need a break every now and then. And as my "unconscious mind" does not really care about this work that I am supposed to do, but only about my well being - it will look for the rest...
But the "conscious mind" decided that there will be no rest! We have a conflict, and when conscious and unconscious minds are in conflict, unconscious always wins. Always. Remember it. No breaks? How about a chocolate bar? The conscious mind "suddenly" (or so it seems) and by itself (right!) remembers the article that I saw in the magazine 25 years ago, saying that extra sugar increases productivity of a brain. And now the chocolate bar is not a break from work, it is something I do FOR work! I am increasing my brain's potential!
We are so good in self-manipulation...
So the first thing we have to do in order to get rid of a "bad habit" is to figure out why are we doing it on the first place. And maybe - maybe! - it is not the habit that we should change, but our ideas about working in the night...
What about the "withdraw syndrome"? When the person quit smoking cigarette, it feels like... bad...
Yes, to some extent. It is nothing, compared to drug withdraw, and by the way, this text is not about habits of using drugs. If you have this kind of problem - you will do much better using the help of an expert.
But the logic is quite the same.
Our metabolism is very complex, and everything is connected to everything else. And we are very adaptable creatures, too. Think about our states (physiological states) as about "local minimums", or if you don't like math, think of mountains and valleys. The more we go up to the mountains, the WORSE we feel (it is just a metaphor and has nothing to do with the real mountains). The deeper down to the valley we go, the better we feel.
But there is no way to get to the deeper valley without going up first!
So one day we started to smoke. And this day we changed our position in this mountains, we moved uphill, and - do you remember - you felt so bad the first day you smoke!
Then your body adapted. It took you down to the nearest valley, so to speak. But it was a different valley - not as deep as the one that you was in at the beginning. But still better than on the "top" of our imaginary mountain.
What if we quit smoking? We will move again! And we will be taken from our habitual "valley" up somewhere (not to the same place where we was when we started smoking for the first time. Much higher. And it WILL feel bad. And there is no way around it, because by its very nature our valleys are surrounded by mountains.
So we can give up and slide back where we started. Or we can climb up, looking for the new, deeper valley. Because some people heard of some other people, who managed to make it to the ocean, you know...
The "story" above is rather simple, compared to many "dimensions" of our internal valleys. The tobacco fume contains nicotine, that changes the brain activity, and it contains less oxygen, which changes blood pH, and it also contains sugar - yes, sugar, which (as I mentioned in my chocolate bars story) can affect your brain chemistry.
And then you change it all at once - of course it will hurt!
Same with fasting to lose weight, or not eating at all - especially not eating at all. It will take us WAY up to the mountains, but the higher we go, the more chances we have to end up in a deep valley - in a new state, that is more stable than the original one.
So what does NLP have to do with all this rock climbing? A lot, as it provides you with the equipment. First of all, you need to be able to set a goal, and that is where NLP shines. Then you need to DESIRE this goal. Again, NLP can help. Then you can learn to enjoy the rock climbing - you don't have to feel bad about feeling bad!
OK, let me explain. As you know, the quickest way to lose weight is to stop eating (it also helps to exercise to loose weight) and if I stop eating, I personally will have a headache. Been there, done that. First two days of not eating I have a headache. And I can tell myself that it hurts, and I hate it, and I better stop as my life without this little pleasures is meaningless... And it all is true, but this particular truth works against me.
Or I can feel GOOD about it (I teach these techniques in States of Power class, see free introduction at http://nlp.snowcron.com/intro_power.htm), and I can keep in mind the "mountains and valleys" metaphor, knowing that the worse I feel now, the stronger and healthier I will become. What does not kill us, will make us stronger! And it is truth, too. And NLP can teach you how to believe what you have choosen to believe. I will talk about it later, too.
And I also can feel good about myself, because I AM SO STRONG! I am really doing it! No food for entire night ;)))
As the mater of fact, I did "no food" for about 20 days (lots of water!) and all this bad feelings were GONE after first two days. Then it feels great. (If you want to do it, read the "The Miracle of Fasting: Proven Throughout History for Physical, Mental and Spiritual Rejuvination" by Patricia Bragg, Paul C. Bragg, because there are some rules that you do not want to break. The book can be found at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0877900361/nlphypnothean-20).
OK, so far we decided, that we need to find reasons for our bad habits, and the way to feel good about the process of change. What else?
Strategies.
In NLP we talk a lot about these little routines that we perform - specific routines for specific circumstances. Like "after you finish a dinner, get a cigarette". The strategy is automatic, and fortunately - can be scrambled using NLP. Or replaced by the different ones. Or both. Every morning I go from the bed directly to the bathroom. Do I ask myself, if I should brush my teeth today? No. I just do it as a habit. And it is good. And it is an example of a strategy. It has a Trigger (wake up), the Operation (go there, turn on water, take a toothbrush), the test (am I done?) and the exit point (which is a trigger for the "breakfast" strategy). By the way, all these little "go to the bathroom", "turn on the water", take a brush" are strategies, too. They, too, can be scrambled. If you destroy my toothbrush, I will newer complete my strategy. If you only have spaghetti in the fridge, what will happen to the chocolate eating problem?
Keep in mind, that there was a reason for buying that much chocolate, on the first place. I mentioned nuclear war, but it was more of a joke. You bought chocolate because you was planning to eat it! (surprise!) This is a strategy, too. We can change it to buying garlic, just to see what will happen. Imagine. A lot of work to do and the fridge, full of garlic...
You will eat garlic. Because you still need a break, and chocolate has nothing to do with it. You may also remember, that garlic is very good for something, maybe even for brain activity. And you will still use each and every chance to get away from your work.
In NLP it is called Ecology. When we do something, we better make sure that it IS what the person need, and not what the person thinks he need. Otherwise we will probably have what is called a Replacement - garlic instead of chocolate, same structure of behavior. And if it happens, we may use all stop smoking medicine in the world and each and every fast weight loss plan, too - it wouldn't help. Because we have one problem while trying to cure another. And that is why there are so many "lose weight in a week" formulas available and so many quit smoking products - they are only working if your personal ecology is respected. And if not... You see, it IS possible to create (for example) a "slim fast diet plan" that will work GUARANTEED, because - provided that you don't have certain medical conditions - losing weight is a mater of doing two things in the same time: moving more and eating less. It is scientifically proven and it works... unless you sabotage it, as most people do. NLP can teach you how to solve this nasty puzzle.
What about the medical weight management tools, the "fat burning secret pills" that they advertize on each corner? They might help. Because they a) work and b) are more difficult to sabotage then more complex traditional techniques (but you still can deveop an allergy, or headache or simply forget to take them - people do it all the time). However as the underlying problem is not resolved - your unconscious mind will find some other way to achieve its hidden agenda. No smoking, huh? How about drinking? So you better fix the "root cause", then the symptom. Much cheaper, too.
What else do we need? A propulsion system (term introduced by Richard Bandler). A special kind of strategy that pulls you towards your goal and in the same time pushes you from behind. I do it a lot in States of Power, and I will do it here, too.
There is a slight difference between "I want to quit smoking because my doctor told me so", and "I want to quit smoking". Also there is a third type of "I want" statement - the one from State of Power. I want to do it because it is FUN. You will be surprised, but ANYTHING can be perceived as fun, including things that are "normally" perceived as punishment. Think "physical exercises". Is it fun? Or punishment? Some people do it for fun. Some people (in the military) use it as a punishment. It all depends on your attitude - and we can change it in a drop of a head... sorry, hat. In a drop of a hat ;)
One last (first, to tell the truth) thing. Beliefs. It is the most powerful roadblock that we created, or borrowed from someone else, or that just always was there.
Are you a smoker? Yes? It is a belief. And why would you stop smoking, if you are a smoker? That's what smokers do - they smoke! Until they bump into the NLP guy who teach them how to change it to "sometimes I smoke when I want" or even to "I used to be a smoker, but not anymore".
Do you have extra weight? Can you get rid of it? No? Remember, when you walk by the street, and the guy looks at you asking "can you spare some change, please?" And you say "no", because it is YOUR change...
Our unconscious mind is not mean, it just is protecting us. And it knows that to give something away is bad... So we need to convince it to give away some weight. To loose some weight... LOOSE?! Your unconscious mind LOVES you, it does not want you to be a looser! If gaining is good, and loosing is bad, your unconscious will rather help you to gain weight, unless you help it to understand... And unless you know exactly what you want. So - watch not only your mouth, but even your thoughts. Never complain, always look forward to changes.
Credits for the techniques that I am going to use I would like to provide now, so that I don't have to break your state every time I am introducing some new trick.
Credits: Richard Bandler, John Gringer, Robert Dilts, Tad James and Tony Robbins. And myself, too.
Also remember, that no mater how good NLP techniques are, they all have one flaw that cannot be fixed. They only work when you apply them.
That's about it. All we need. Before I continue to the techniques, there is one important detail about this text. You see, I have already explained all "theory" in the NLP, Hypnosis, Power and other web pages and eBooks on this site. There is no need to repeat myself, and unless I feel like doing so - I wouldn't. I will just provide practical techniques, that may or may not remind the fast weight loss tips or smoking quit tips that you expect, but they work and this is an important part.
And if you SUDDENLY STOP SMOKING, or whatever it is you want to change, you will have no choice, but to read the rest of information on this site just to understand what had just happened... manipulative, am I not?
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Playing games, finding reasons and alternatives.
NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line Therapy techniques work very well when you need to find a "real reason" for some odd behavior.
The woman had a weight problem (an understatement). She tried every fat burning recipe in existence - and achieved zero results. After some questioning the therapist found, that the extra weight is a defensive mechanism. Because when the girl was young, she was afraid of all this confusing things with the opposite sex. And being her humble servant, her unconscious mind did a simple calculation:
a) she doesn't want to be in a focus of men's attention
b) girls only get this attention if they are slim
The conclusion? Diets didn't work - until someone (the therapist) found this construction, destroyed it and REPLACED it with more or less confident state of "I know what to do with men".
Was the woman aware of the problem? No. She knew that she had extra weight and she thought she was a genetically predisposed. She tried diets - and they were not working. While in fact her efforts were sabotaged by the only person who could sabotage them - by herself.
There is a wonderful set of techniques described in "Timeline Therapy and the Basis of Personality" book written by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0916990214/nlphypnothean-20). These techniques - among other things - can help you to get to the root of your "problem" - and often the problem will disappear just because of you being aware.
And we should always remember, that when we take away a strategy, or a painful memory, or a limiting belief - there is a hole left! It is not enough to "remove a problem", we have to create a solution and to fill the "hole" - or the problem might come back.
So - real reasons, benefits and alternatives.
Consider smoking (Sorry! As an NLP person I should watch my language. Consider NOT smoking ;)
Had it ever occured to you, that for most people the ONLY chance to breath deeply is while smoking? Because normally we breath shallow, unless we are doing Yoga, or any other breathing exercises.
And if you read other texts on this site or some of the eBooks, you might know that the breathing is one of the most powerful "controls" we have - it can alter our state "in a breath"!
Let's make an experiment. Sit straight. Unwrap your shoulders (please). Smile and ENJOYING IT take a deep breath and stretch. Feels GOOD, doesn't it? Now, what was that thing again, that your unconscious mind is concerned about more than anything? It is YOUR HAPPINESS! And if you are happy when smoking, it will help you to smoke! Why are you happy when smoking? Because you are taking a deep breath!
Give yourself alternatives! Can you create a habit of breathing deeply from time to time, just as we did in the previous paragraph - but WITHOUT the cigarette? One deep breath in 15 minutes - just to FEEL how good it is - to breath.
What about "business considerations"? "I have to smoke during business negotiations, because my boss does"... Well... this one is tough. Fire your boss. Seriously. How can he kill you in such a slow, painful... what are you saying? He doesn't know? Good. Then this is not an issue anymore.
It is changing now, but it is still a problem. I read about a woman who was a non-smoker. When she noticed that her colleagues are going outside the building every half an hour for a smoke, she decided to take same time and to walk around the building. Week later she had a very unpleasant conversation with her manager about "you are supposed to work, not to walk around".
Pressure of an environment. If she read my NLP eBooks, of course, she would talk to the manager first, charm him and perhaps he would send a company-wise E.mail asking people to follow her example instead of smoking. Then she would become a role model.
Flexibility. NLP is ALL about flexibility of behavior.
Another favorite argument the smokers use is "I just have to keep my hands busy". My response (depending on the rapport and of the kind of person I am talking to) can be anything from "have you tried knitting" to "masturbate". I don't care about politeness - if "rude" behavior can help the person. This is just the argument we are dealing with, just an excuse, there is nothing behind it. It should be broken, by force or by kindness, doesn't mater. What kind of an argument is it anyway - the adult person cannot control his hands?! (That is what I would say if I want the person to abandon this argument).
From NLP point, "keeping hands busy" is just another strategy. We either scramble it (for example by being sarcastic and making the person ashamed of doing this strategy) or we can replace it with a better one.
Buy an aromatherapy kit, they make some of their items in shape of a small cylinder, just like the cigarette. Hold it in your hand. Smell it. Not only it smells good, but the carefully chosen aroma will in fact increase your work productivity dramatically, not to mention that you will have something to talk to all these strangers that will approach you, curious on what you are sniffing. For more information on Aromatherapy, check the http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1880032910/nlphypnothean-20
The arguments and excuses are countless. What you need to remember is that our language is VERY flexible and powerful tool - we can find words to support or disprove ANYTHING. These are games - nothing more. We know that it is possible to stop smoking or to loose weight or to start exercising - whatever. There are people in this world who have done it successfully. And as you know if you read NLP tutorials on my web site, WHAT ONE MAN CAN DO, THE OTHER CAN LEARN, TOO.
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Feeling good for no particular reason
This technique is powerful and I always do it at the beginning or at the end. We will use it as a source of infinite power and simply because it feels good.
I would like to ask you to CLOSE YOUR EYES if you want to, but do not RELAX. I want you in an active state. Also, some people find that it is better to do standing, while others prefer to do it sitting. If you don't have problem standing, like a sore back, you better... well, you decide.
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Smile. It is very important that you keep your smile and the posture, and just pretend to be an omnipotent person. Because if you pretend then in thirty seconds to one minute you will become one - that's just the way our mind works miracles.
Now, take another breath and this time feel the air. Have you ever noticed how good it feels to breath in? Have it already occurred to you that by smiling when breathing you can learn to love breathing? Breath and feel GOOD. You can stretch a bit and maybe even straighten your back and shoulders while you ENJOY your breathing.
Imagine NOW yourself in front of the most beautiful waterfall in the woods in a nice day. See the water sparkling and hear the steady powerful sound of water. And as you are noticing some little details about it, you might also FEEL little drops of water in the air. That's right. Breath it in. Now. Walk the water towards the waterfall. I want to invite you to step into it. That's right - stay under the water and turn around to face the outside. Feel the temperature of the water and the power of it, the vibration as it falls at your shoulders.
Breath in, allowing this power to be yours. And now - make this stream of water to fly through you. That's right. As this powerful stream flies through you and each drop... Each drop washes away the negative. Things you don't need. See it being washed away in the stream and vanish in the light of day as you are getting stronger. Allow the water to wash away thoughts that were limiting you before. Ones you don't need. Breath with this energy and I invite you to notice how each drop of water leaves behind a tiny little bit of pure energy. And you may begin to see your body shine from inside with this energy you have NOW.
And now FLY - that's right - fly from the waterfall right into the sky and allow the sun to instantly dry the water from your skin and see the world from above. And notice how much more energy you have now. Like have you ever had this feeling of having all the energy in the world? Of being totally happy? Well, as you are flying through the sky - take a deep breath and double this feeling. That's right.
And double it again.
And as you look at the horizon, notice a little cloud out there. Fly towards the cloud. And as you are approaching it, turn it into a thunderstorm - have you ever noticed, how much power these thunderstorms have? And you can claim it - as you fly right into the storm clouds and the world around you turns dark, with bright lightnings and hear the thunder and feel the rain on your skin. Breath in this energy and allow few lightnings to go through you from the different directions, each bringing you more power of this new kind. And each lightning burns to ashes all things you don't need, all negative. Watch these ashes disappear in the rain.
And double the feeling again.
And fly from the thunderstorm into the liquid gold of the sunset and from the sunset into the night. A beautiful night, full of the moonlight. Allow this moonlight to give you some valuable lesson of how the silence can be so powerful. And not a single sound.
And you are flying way above the earth, towards the ocean. See the coastline and islands in the sea, some are big and some are just rocks in the water, under the moon. And from the sky you see weals in the sea... way below... and you don't know how, but you know that they are aware of your presence and they welcome you in their sky.
And now fly towards one of the islands in the sea. And notice a place of power on it, the most beautiful in the moonlight. It is waiting for you. Fly to it and enter it. Take a deep breath and notice how much power, how much energy you have now. And as your power raises - notice the light, some kind of aura that your body have now. Breath! That's right. Feel how different it feels and yet - how wonderful. And now, keeping this smile and this energy... slowly come back.
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Changing the past.
Two techniques that we are going to use are called Reimprinting (Robert Dilts) and Time Line (Tad James), and I am going to mix them a little.
Both techniques are very powerful, so read disclaimer again, before continuing.
Remember some event from the time when you were five years old. Some small and neutral staff. Notice that you sort of know "where this memory came from" - it is like you are asked "can you remember", and then you look somewhere, say at your left, where the picture is.
Can you remember something from the age of ten? Again, notice where this memory came from. Something from the age fifteen? Twenty? Ask yourself couple of questions like that, and "map" your Time Line - the imaginary line from past to future, the line where all your memories are, so that you can find the memory fast. The index, so to speak.
Now, some people would agree, that if you go deep inside, maybe close your eyes, and fly above this time line, you get disconnected from your memories, so that you can revisit them while staying detached. It is necessary, especially if the memory is painful.
Let's do it. Let's fly way above the time line, and look at it from above. You might notice, that not only it goes back into the past, but also into the future! Yes, you have your "memories of future", not the fate, but more of blueprints. In the eBook called "Working with the future" I use it a lot to change future events.
Take a deep breath. It is not possible to forget to breath, but often we forget to breath as powerful people. And to SIT STRAIGHT as a powerful person, too. And now, as a powerful person, look at your time line again. (and if you don't see it - imagine and pretend that you do. In NLP there is no difference between "I experience" and "I pretend that I experience" - if you pretend well, you will soon learn how to do it for real). Isn't it amazing, how this imaginary line has these areas full of light and energy, and also some dark and boring areas? What are they?
Well, if you pick the "bright" area, and "fly" down there, you might find a memory of something pleasant, that's what it is! A period in your life that you liked. Powerful and happy period.
What about the dark areas? Don't go there yet. You need to read the book by Tad James, called "Time Line Therapy and the basis of personality", and preferably my eBooks about NLP and State of Power, too - before you are ready to face your past. And if you have something REALLY painful there, or the dark area is just resisting your efforts and does not let you in - you better leave it alone or find some NLP guy to do a guided work. But for most people and for most memories - it is simple.
OK, that was your fair warning ;) Now back to explanations. The dark, or somehow else (different people perceive it differently) forbidden areas are negative memories. Something you don't want to remember (on the unconscious level), something you hold suppressed.
And to hold it there you are spending your own energy - don't you have a better use for it?
Why do I mention this dark areas? Because I am going to offer you a new point of view, just remember, as almost anything in life, it is just a metaphor. A simplified map of reality. Anyway, what if your "bad habit", whatever it is, is a result of some negative blocks, memories, beliefs that you had? What if it is a reason for you to continue (smoking?) even if you "want to quit"? Can we do something about it?
Fly above the Time Line. As you are doing it, feel the power of a simple knowledge that you CAN alter your past memories, and therefore - alter your life.
And smile. And take a deep breath.
And double this feeling.
Now - find a dark area that corresponds to some relatively small negative memory that you know about. Don't ask "how" - just politely instruct your unconscious mind to do it and discover to your own surprise that it "just happening".
Also let your unconscious mind know, that what we are about to do is AN EXCERCISE. Because you see, the moment you teach your unconscious mind to deal with one dark area on your time line, it will learn how to deal with all similar dark areas!
So - find something small. For example, someone you never seen before called you an asshole on the street - in our "information society" almost everyone had this stimulating experience. And the memory.
Fly above the timeline to the memory, and fly down and step into the moment of time BEFORE it ever happened. And ask yourself a simple question - where is the emotion NOW? Gone, isn't it? Because nothing yet happened.
So at least we can NOT experience it.
Now look at the situation from the point of view of detached observer and - from the side - see yourself in this situation, and the other person, too. Ask yourself - what was the real reason for this younger, less experienced and not-yet-exposed to NLP you to end up in this situation in the first place? What was the reason? What inner RESOURCE, or what QUALITY does this younger you needed in this situation to resolve it differently?
Now. About resources and qualities. Kindness is a quality. Assertiveness is a quality. A million dollars is NOT a quality, it is an asset. You can say "this other me need to learn to be assertive", but you cannot say that "this other me needs a million dollars" - even if it is so.
If you needed more that one quality back then - pick more then one, nobody counts ;)
Now, have you seen a Star Trek? I would like to ask the "current" older and more experienced you to "beam" your younger self these qualities. And notice that as you do it, the situation is beginning to change. Also along with the "beam" of qualities, send some feeling of love and support. Tell yourself something that you didn't know back then - tell that no mater how bad this "asshole" feels, YOU WILL SURVIVE.
And take a deep breath, and some energy with it - and beam this energy to your younger self.
Now, what about this other person, the one that called you an asshole? What qualities does (s)he need to behave differently in this situation? Send these qualities to this person.
What do you mean "no"? Why not? You are not going to send anything to this bastard? Which one? The real one is long gone, you are not sending him anything. It is all in your mind - you are sending qualities to your own memory!
On this same reason - tell this person that you forgive him. And don't just tell - forgive. Because now, with this qualities - it is a different person, or should I say - a memory of the different person?
Watch again how the situation changes as you do it. And when you seen enough, approach the younger you and embrace him (her?) because it is you... your memory. Your new memory... The memory of a new you...
Fly up from the time line and notice that the dark spot is not that dark anymore! Can we make it to shine?
Glad that you asked. Take a deep breath (always) and smile. If you want to know why should you smile - read the State of Power eBook - there are some VERY serious reasons for smiling. And stretch up as you are breathing. And when exhaling, send a powerful flow of energy into this spot on your time line - and watch all the minor things that we missed on some reasons resolve themselves.
An interesting observation made by some highly visual people - those who can REALLY see their time line, as if with their own eyes. When we change something, when we make one spot brighter, the changes are propagating into the future, as if the wave of light is spreading through your memories. Sometimes, when your unconscious finds similar situations, it would resolve them by itself, and sometimes the extra energy that you just got would become that little "extra" that is required to resolve some totally unrelated issue.
Which will give you even more energy. A chain reaction. A reason for a smile - a smile of a powerful person.
I am going to use this new knowledge that you got in this chapter later, when I teach you some self-hypnosis. However there is something you can do RIGHT NOW. Ask your unconscious mind to find and discharge all memories that are related to your unwanted habit, and to discharge them (if some unrelated negative memory happens to be around, it can be discharged, too). You don't have to know what these memories are, you don't have to know when your unconscious is dealing with them and when it is busy with other issues... Just that... if in the nearest future, one or more times, you will suddenly feel like smiling, or singing, or jumping (in a good way), in other words if you will suddenly notice that you have more energy NOW, don't forget to thank your unconscious mind for a wonderful job.
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Making it disgusting
This chapter contains some gross language (the word "shit") and therefore the readers discretion is advised ;) In other words, I am going to show you how to make something UNPLEASANT. There are many ways, and I decided to use this one just because it is simple. If you want, you can do it using the "submodalities intervention" (see NLP eBooks), but this one is based on so called anchors.
As I have mentioned, it is a practical book, for the theory, read the NLP eBook.
I am going to use smoking as an example. You are safe if you dislike smoking. But please do not do it with eating - you DON'T want to dislike eating. There are plenty of other techniques. But you may want do dislike particular food... If you are a "chocolate abuser", for example, changing your feelings about the chocolate IS a valuable tip on losing weight (but I still recommend running to lose weight as a fast free weight loss system ;)
Also - for those familiar with NLP, the approach is using anchors, but what we really are after is a strategy. For example, "take cigarette, inhale, enjoy" is a strategy, and I am going to change it into the "take cigarette, inhale, say "disgusting".
But if you feel like skipping the chapter, go ahead, there are no more "unpleasant" chapters in this text. Just ask yourself - what is the real reason for you to skip it?
We are going to use your left hand. There are two spots, one at the base of a pointing finger (nockle) and one at the base of the "bite me" finger (I just thought that you need to get back your smile). In a moment I will ask you to touch them with the pointing and b.m. fingers of your right hand.
First, remember the moment, when you was anticipating smoking. You was about to smoke. Remember. The look of a cigarette. The way it feels in your fingers and in your mouse. The smell. The heat. Touch the base of your pointing finger, hold for 3 seconds, release.
Look around, just to break the state.
And do it again, same memory, same spot. Touch at the moment when the memory is the most intense.
Do it three times.
Now, let's have some fun. Remember this movie, Jurastic Park III? There was a very kinestetic (NLP term) episode when the dinosaur eaten a cell phone, and they needed this phone, so they had to dig it out from the pile of dino shit?
Imagine this as vividly as you can. The gray and brown pile, and the flies above it (and some of them are landing on your face by mistake). The smell - take a shallow breath, round your shoulders forward and move few centimeters back as if you are trying to get away from this memory. And a heat - a warm, rich, moist, sticky smell - feel it as you are approaching the pile... touching it - there is some gelly stuff, and some fibers, and broken bones... And you have to squeeze your hand deep inside, so that your face is almost touching...
Good, now at the peak of this experience, touch the base of your b.m. finger.
Do it three times - fully experience - touch - hold - release.
Now take a deep breath, touch the base of your pointing finger, hold for 3 seconds, and touch the base of your b.m. finger, and release the base of your pointing finger, and hold the base of your b.m. finger for another 5 seconds.
Done.
OK, let me explain. Our brain is a pattern detector, the best we know. When Pavlov was feeding the dog and ringing a bell in the same time, it only took few repetitions for the dog to start salivating when hearing the bell.
Humans are even better. When we touched the point on our left hand while being associated with an experience, we created a link. In NLP it is called an anchor. Now, if we "fire an anchor" (an NLP term), we will re-experience the feeling. So what we have created were two triggers (two points to be touched) associated to two states (one of anticipation and one of a disgust).
The beauty of this technique is - anything can be a trigger. Gesture, voice tonality, code phrase - even another state. So when we fired the first trigger, we created a state of anticipation. Then we fired the second trigger, and released the first one - it is as if we told our unconscious, look - when you have the first state, it means that the second state is coming. We created what is called a chain of anchors.
I know a man who has a car. Once an NLP guy (not me) "anchored" the memory of this car, and a memory of a white horse. And he chained two anchors. And from that moment on the poor fellow was not able to think about his car without seeing an image of a white horse!
The moment you feel anticipation "I am about to smoke", this trigger fires the second state, which was "digging into a pile of dino shit". So after a brief moment of anticipation you will slide by the chain right to the "that's gross" state.
Cigarette, anyone?
Free NLP, Hypnosis and State of Power Course
The course consists of five E.mails and covers all essentials of NLP, Hypnosis and State of Power. Compare to $$$ that you will have to pay elsewhere. All you need to do is to enter your name (nickname will do) and E.mail address in the form below.
To learn more, read the Working with Habits tutorial. Some valuable techniques can also be found in the "Habit Management" E.mail class.
Use the following table to get an idea of what is included where:
| Chapter | Free online intro | E.mail class | eBook |
| General fluff | + | - | + |
| Playing games, finding reasons and alternatives | + | - | + |
| Feeling good for no particular reason | + | - | + |
| Changing the past | - | + | + |
| Making it disgusting | - | + | + |
| Changing the future | - | + | + |
| Changing the strategy | - | + | + |
| Testing the new strategy | - | + | + |
| Swish technique | - | - | + |
| Negotiations | - | - | + |
| Hypnotizing yourself | - | - | + |
| Changing beliefs | - | - | + |
| Ecology, environment and being in Peace without turning Green | - | - | + |
| Free intros: |
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